Brian Fajardo 

English 101

July 11th, 2022

No Longer Believe That Friendship Aren’t Fake

Sitting down watching “Scooby Doo” seeing this group of friends working together and solving mystery as a team, especially seeing that Shaggy and Scooby work together. They were my favorite duos because they were always hilarious and clumsy. Although as an eleven year old having that idea of a friend group looked so important to me that I needed to have one during school. I put myself out there to meet new friends and create that group of friends. I was so badly influenced by the internet whether it’s through social media or any movie/tv shows that needing these groups of friends was a huge deal that it took control over my brain and took over how I saw life. Having this perspective about going out with friends, having fun and going on adventures was everything to me. I never really saw the consequences of making friends. I thought everybody would get along like in elementary school but middle school was a whole game changer for me.

 

Entering middle school was a whole different experience. I had a mindset of worrying about making new friends. We were randomly assigned to different classes and I was put into 601. I remember having two of my closest friends from elementary school being in the same class as me 601. Having both of my friends there helps me be more social and meet new people.  They were always the more talkative ones compared to me. I would always be the shy one because honestly IDK(I Don’t Know) what people thought of me and I never really wanted them to have a bad impression of me. But once you get to know me I’m very friendly and just love having a good time. Apart from that I realize while yes we were new to the school going through these rides with my closest friends we kinda got disconnected. They started hanging out more with their new friends and they never really wanted to spend time with me any more. I  questioned over time why was that but me being the shy one never really asked and let them go on and do what they wanted. 

During this time I had to start talking to more people. I would always say “if they could do it I can.”. So I went on and started talking to most of the people in my classroom. It was going great and until this one moment I remember in particular this boy that sat next to me in english. He always thought it was okay and funny to make fun of students in the school building. Everybody always knew him as the jokester in class. One day he sat next to me and he said “why do you remind me of Precious from the movie”. I didn’t understand what he meant by that and I started to question who was Precious. Just by hearing the laughter of kids around me at me being called precious was so confusing to me. I started to feel nervous, my eyes began to get watery and I didnt know what to do. So I decided to laugh it off with them. When I went to the bathroom I searched for Precious that they were comparing me to. When I looked at the picture I realized that they were calling me fat.  

I never really had a person or someone to go to at that moment since two of my closest friends weren’t there for me. So I tried to fit in the crowd so I started to change the way I was to fit in. I didn’t care at that moment because I was gaining popularity. Having that popularity felt great because I wasn’t the one getting picked on while others were. I finally got to join a friend group with the cool kids. At that moment I felt so goated that I finally got that friend group experience that I always wanted. I would make stupid jokes and make fun of people the same away when I got bully. They would just use me for entertainment purposes because I was funny but in reality I was just being a bully. I wasn’t myself, I saw their faces and it just brought me back to when I got bullied. I saw myself becoming more of a jerk. It felt wrong in a sense where I was letting this group change who I was as a person. I was so blind sided that even when I needed help with something or I was going through emotional problems they weren’t there for me. There was a moment where I went through a hard breakup. It was my first so it hit differently. I didn’t know what to feel at that moment and I just needed someone to care and support me when going through this but they just ignored me.  So I had to leave that group. 

I of course meet new people throughout my middle school experiences and highschool experience. However, entering highschool I eventually learned how to build this wall around me. I never really let people in. I wasn’t very open like others would be to me. I was always a good listener and remembered everything that people would say to me. But they would always come to me when they had an issue. I always found myself helping others and caring for others more than I did to myself. They would never ask me if I was okay; it was always about them. There’s even a time where I just shut everybody out and didn’t want to help anyone. Slowly the guilty conscience builds up and it’s because I care too much about people and I always had this smile on my face even when I went through something. I had this pile of emotions stacking under my bed like it was dust.

Until I meant this friend that I now call my best friend but let’s get into it. She was a person who opened my mind to the real world. She told me how life isn’t as simple as it seem and in reality it’s really a game and I have to play it right. I was always getting checked up on and making sure I was okay and doing well. She shocked me in a moment where I remember I didn’t know anybody in the school but she was the first person to talk to me. I never really had that experience since I was the one always putting myself out there. She was asking me all these questions trying to get to know me and I remember she said I have a good feeling we are going to be good friends. When I heard those words I immediately just felt this warmth in the body of somebody who cared for me as a friend. She has always opened up to me and never really did because I had this wall that was built and reinforced that it was hard to let down. But I was reaching a point where I was going to explode if I didn’t let it out. So I finally opened up and it felt great. It felt like this dark energy just left my body. As we both started getting closer we both learned how to build each other up and how to put each other in our places because sometimes we would get out of control. She would always invite me to eat lunch. “Lets go to our spot and eat two boots and get the special that we always get” she would say.  Two boots was this pizza spot that we would go to. We would always sit in the back where the table booths were at. We would go in and order the special. “Can I have the pizza special with the soda on the side” I would say. Ever since then we always would go. But we have tried other  amazing foods because we like trying new food from different cultures.We also had a picnic, went bowling, and even to the movies. We went on so many adventures that I felt accomplished and I also did it while being me. She accepted me for who I was which made this bond last. We now know each other like the back of our hand. But I really could ask for a better duo. After all, I think I did find my Shaggy and Scooby friendship.